Why Facebook is the Bane of Any English Teacher's Existence

I love Facebook, don’t get me wrong, it keeps me in contact with people I wouldn’t ordinarily get a chance to talk to. But every day, there’s something new to annoy me. I sign in and I’ve got people yelling at me who obviously don’t know that capital letters should be used to a) start a sentence, b) emphasize a word or phrase, or c) convey yelling. It really gets under my skin when I’m minding my own business, and suddenly there’s someone yelling to the world that nothing eventful happened at work, and now they’re home and bored. Seriously. You should yell when you find out that your baby’s father is a being from outer space, when your car rolls down a hill and explodes into a ball of flames, or when your foot turns an odd shade of green and then falls off. Those would be appropriate topics to shout about, and I would commend you for your appropriate use of the Caps Lock button.

Source

Speaking of when to use buttons, apparently the concept of when to use of the apostrophe in the English language is a very hard one to master. I meet someone new online, and all is going well, I’m thinking this is a pretty cool person to talk to! Then out they come with something like “I went their to see if they had you’re shirts, but they said its going to be a few days.” It all goes downhill from there. (If you don’t see what is wrong with that sentence, please step away from the computer and find an English professor immediately, if not sooner.) 

Source

I’ve also seen some people for whom butchering the English language is not enough, they apparently need to completely destroy it. Peoplee needd too realizee thatt itt makess myy brainn hurtt whenn Ii havee too filterr outt thee extraa letterss att thee endd off theirr wordss. See, not very fun, is it? Or maybe there are just an absurd number of Gollums running around, I don’t know. And if you’re going to use a cliché, at least get it right. There is no such thing as an “intensive purpose”, and worst can’t come to worst, because it’s the same thing! Seriously, if Facebook wasn’t so bloody convenient, I’d probably set it on fire.